The "Serve and Return" Secret: A Harvard-Backed Tip to Boost Your Child's Language Skills
As parents, we all want to give our children the best possible start in life. We wonder: what's the single most powerful thing we can do for their developing brain? Is it the latest educational toy? A rigorous early learning class?
The answer, according to experts at Harvard University's Center on the Developing Child, is actually much simpler and it's free. It’s a special kind of interaction they call “Serve and Return,” and it’s one of the most effective ways to build a strong foundation for lifelong learning, resilience, and, crucially, language skills
Think of it as a game of tennis for your child's brain. In this guide, we'll break down exactly what this game is and how you're likely already playing it every day.
What Exactly IS "Serve and Return"?
Imagine your child is the tennis player serving the ball. Their "serve" is any time they try to get your attention—a giggle, a pointed finger, a cry, or a word. Your job is to return that serve with a warm and responsive interaction.
This simple back-and-forth is how neural connections are built in the brain. According to the team at Harvard's Center on the Developing Child, there are five simple steps to make these interactions rich and impactful:
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Notice the Serve: Pay close attention to what your child is focused on. Is it the dog walking by? The sound of a siren? A colorful block? That's their serve.
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Return the Serve: Acknowledge their interest with a smile, a nod, or a sound. This tells their brain, "I see you, and what you're interested in matters."
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Name It: Use simple language to label what they are seeing, doing, or feeling. This is how a child's vocabulary grows exponentially.
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Take Turns: After you return the serve, wait. Give your child time to respond with another look, sound, or movement. This back-and-forth keeps the "rally" going.
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Practice Endings and Beginnings: Let your child lead. When they are ready to move on to a new activity, follow their lead. This teaches them that they have some control over their world.
From the Supermarket to Storytime: Finding "Serve and Return" Moments Everywhere
The best part about Serve and Return? You don't need to schedule it. It doesn't require special tools or lesson plans. It fits naturally into the life you're already living, turning everyday moments into brain-building opportunities.
Here’s what it can look like:
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At the grocery store: Your toddler points at an apple (the serve). You meet their gaze, smile, and say, "That's a big, red apple! Should we get one?" (the return and name). In that tiny moment, you're not just labeling an object; you're sharing a discovery.
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During bath time: Your baby splashes the water and looks at you with a grin (the serve). You laugh, splash back gently, and say, "Splash! You made a big splash!" (the return and name). The sound and feel of the water become part of your shared conversation.
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While reading a book: Your child points to a picture of a cat (the serve). Instead of just reading the words, you pause and ask, "Yes, a cat! What sound does a cat make?" (the return and taking turns). This simple question transforms passive listening into an active, engaging dialogue.
The Magic of Play: How the Right Toys Supercharge Your Game
While Serve and Return requires nothing more than your attention, the right kind of open-ended toy can act as a powerful catalyst for these brain-building interactions. When a child is engaged in play, they are constantly "serving" you with their attention and ideas.
For example, when your child picks up the letter 'B' from your Joycat Magnetic Letters set (the serve), you can return it by saying, “B! B is for ‘ball’!” Then, you can wait for them to pick up another letter, turning letter recognition into a fun, collaborative game.
Conclusion
The most powerful tool for your child's development isn't something you can buy; it's your own attention and responsiveness. Every time you return your child's serve, you are telling them they are seen, heard, and valued—and you are literally building their brain.
As we approach the back-to-school season, these strong brain connections and language skills become more important than ever for classroom success. To help you intentionally practice these interactions during the final weeks of summer, we have a special resource for you.
We have sourced the official "Serve and Return" activity guides directly from Harvard's Center on the Developing Child. These printable PDF guides are packed with simple, science-backed activities for different age groups.
We've made these valuable resources available for free exclusively to members of our private Joycat Parents Community on Facebook. Join our community today to download the guides, share your own parenting tips, and connect with other parents who believe in the power of play.
